Our goal is to help you find the angle in your essay that makes you shine. We work with you first to communicate your story as powerfully as possible – to craft your ideas around a compelling theme and reveal your passions and your personality. We then help you to polish your expression, grammar, and use of language to present the best of your writing. If you are interested in the actual editing process please take a look at how we edit.
This is a fine example of how to show the reader where you have come from
I remember the bright lights. That’s the earliest memory I can faithfully recollect, the first point in my timeline. I remember the warmth of the moment, the faint glimmer of neon on the streets below the apartment. Only beginning with this moment can I explore the full extent of my memories, the events of childhood that shaped my life while I lived with my grandparents in a city in China that my ancestors had resided in for ten generations.
I have other bits and pieces of patchy recollections. Together, they make up the hours and days of my childhood. It is a time that I remember fondly today, although I’m sure the gaps in my memories have often been clouded by half truths, pieced together from random photographs and my own impressions. These memories are my constant reminder of what has become my own basic philosophy on life.
I remember a trip I made to the park, riding an old, but still brightly colored merry-go-round, vibrant with hues of red, blue, and yellow. I see my grandfather, helping set the large wheel into motion as the colors swirled gracefully. While I was in China, my parents studied diligently in Lawrence, Kansas. I know this because after coming to America, I grew up around high-performance liquid chromatography, mass spectroscopy, and reaction mechanisms; I remember minute details from the amount of time I spent in the cramped quarters of the lab. On that merry-go-round and even just five years ago, I never saw the toll placed on both sides of my family.
I remember mealtimes with my cousin in the siheyuan, the courtyard, by the house we used to live in Huaiyin. Today, I can imagine the glow of the sun and the scent of the greasy, fried delicacies of the vendors just an alley away. I hear the bustle of the cars, but mainly pedestrians and bicycles going to work in the city. But most of all, I feel the care of my grandmother and my aunt, feeding both my cousin and me while we watched the birds fly through the hazy sky.
Today, the setting is different – a rural New England town, surrounded by the vivid colors of falling leaves. My childhood has never stayed far behind. I now know about the sacrifices that my parents made on my behalf. They never heard my first words, saw my first steps, nor did they share the first bits of my childhood. But in the end, all the sacrifices were worth the effort, something I note with more insight every year: I can now see a chain of goodwill, one that has made me see the benevolence in people.
In coming to America, I have one memory that sticks out among the rest. Flying into a city, one whose name has become lost to me, I once again saw the bright lights. They were the lights of a new country and a new life. I didn’t know why this memory always stood out at the time, but today, I do. I’ve lived two lives – the first began with the lights and an apartment, the second with the lights and an airplane. Today, I bridge the gap between the two, and I see that I am fortunate to have two lives and people who care in each of
This was written by a student applying to a business program
The current financial recession irks me. At the heart of the crisis that has gripped my community, the nation and the world is dishonesty, avarice and uncertainty. It is more than upsetting to recognize that unsavory business practices have hurt so many people across the globe. Not only does it undermine the basis on which business should be conducted, but it also goes against my own ethical code.
I have built a successful company from scratch without the assistance of mom, dad, or uncle based on fair and honest business practices. I take great pride in the report cards I’ve received from the people with whom I do business. Over the last four years, I have received a perfect “feedback score” from all of my eBay customers. By perfect, I mean that every item I have sold arrived on time, shipping charges were deemed fair, the items were properly portrayed, and buyer-seller communication was excellent. I don’t claim that these practices are ingenious or innovative, but in my field of work the abundance of chicanery is unsettling.
It was four years ago that I re-acquainted myself with my old elementary school love, baseball cards. I spent an inordinate amount of time researching and buying everything pertaining to baseball cards. Some would consider instant messaging fellow card traders in Japan at 3 a.m. (our time) about sell-values a cause for concern. I didn’t; my alarm was set for 2:55 a.m. and by 3:15 a.m. the transaction was completed and I was back to sleep.
It wasn’t too long before buyers and sellers in both the Japanese and American markets started to rely on my company. My office was my bedroom, my research center was the family laptop, and my distributor was the United States Postal Service. While most of my friends were writing on each other’s Facebook Wall, I was on beckett.com researching the price of a 1955 Topps Sandy Koufax card. I was already aware of my obsessive personality, so I did not see any problem in the fact that I could list the value of any card from the 1940s. Picasso had his blue period and his rose period, I was in my baseball cards period.
The baseball card world is home to a plethora of fascinating opportunities and colorful people (to say the least), but it is unfortunately overrun by crooks and cheats. Whether it’s lying about the value and rarity of a card or misleading a prospective buyer about its condition, ubiquitous thieves are at both card shows and online auctions. Seeing middle school students lose as much as $500 to these online con artists made me realize that I wanted to be the Martin Arrowsmith of the baseball card world. I did not turn a $1,500 investment into $10,000 by simply employing savvy business principles. Ethical business conduct played the primary role that led to a 567% growth in my business. Buyers have flocked to me because they know I am an honest broker. I have formed valuable friendships at card shows and online. Colleagues know they can count on me and they are willing to return the favor when needed.
The year my company began to flourish was my junior year. It was the same year that I finally started to tap into my true potential as a student. Was it a mere coincidence? I had found a passion that reinforced the value of honesty; a passion that motivated and focused me, and it translated to all aspects of my life.
This was written by a student who was accepted to Wesleyan University
Bringing home decorated pumpkins and gourds to your loving mom may seem a bit elementary for a high school senior to do. If a high school bully sighted a student carrying a painted muskmelon with the words I love you Mom on it, he might open the door to the room where Teasing 101 is taught. I don’t run into that problem. It’s not that we don’t have bullies in our school, but it helps that I’m very active in the weight room, and that I’m the captain of our football team.
I’m also president of our school’s crafts club. I’m just as comfortable knitting a hat as I am making a tackle. Making a tackle is like making a get well card; you have to have all the right pieces. For the tackle you have to have feet placed properly, hips lowered, hands cocked precisely, and plenty of heart. For the card you have to have paper, colored ink, stamps and plenty of heart.
What works even better than a card or a gift is being there for people. I worked with a young boy who didn’t have a father in his life. Almost every week I spent time with him at his elementary school doing my best to give him a male figure that he could look up to. I enjoyed the Big Brother program and watching Charlie become more confident about his future.
On Sundays, for the last five years I’ve been an assistant teacher at my local Hebrew school. I have been with the same group of students since they started kindergarten. I know I have shaped their lives in some way; I have spent countless hours teaching them how to read, write and study Hebrew. I have learned how to run groups smoothly.
I once heard a coach ask, Is the juice worth the squeeze? While the whole team laughed at the time because it sounded so funny, I knew just what he meant. I often come back to that somewhat convoluted saying now that high school is coming to an end. Let me tell you, the juice has never tasted better. I enjoy making my mother feel good; that’s why I bring home corny little trinkets from Crafts Club that express my love. I enjoy the feeling I get making cards for people who could use a lift. I enjoy being the fire in my football team’s belly.
But it’s not really about football or crafts club. It’s about the joy these activities bring me and the pride I gain from helping other people whenever I can – be it a new member on the squad trying to learn the plays, my “little brother,” or the students in my Hebrew school class. It is how I purl every little aspect of my life into a hat that I can wear and know that no one else is wearing the same one.